How can parents support an athlete’s mental game?

Set the agreement before the stressful moment

A phrase that feels reassuring at home can land differently from the sideline. Ask about it before the next event: “If you want help remembering your cue, what would you like me to say?” The athlete might choose a phrase, a gesture or no reminder. An agreement you can both describe is easier to use than guessing in a tense moment.

Keep technical instruction with the coach unless you have agreed otherwise. An athlete trying to remember a coach’s assignment, a parent’s correction and a personal cue may have several competing tasks. Your practical help might be getting them to practice on time and leaving the instruction there.

Let the car ride begin without a review

When they get into the car, the score does not have to enter first. Try, “I’m glad I got to watch you. Do you want to talk about it now or later?” Give the answer some room. They may want quiet, something to eat or a conversation about the rest of the day.

If they want to talk, listen for what mattered to them. You may be thinking about the score while they are upset about letting a teammate down. Ask a short follow-up before giving advice: “What part is staying with you?” You do not need to resolve every disappointment before arriving home.

Notice something specific

When a review is welcome, begin with something you actually saw. “You asked for the ball again after the turnover” gives the athlete a moment to explain. Ask what helped them do that. Their answer may be different from the story you told yourself while watching, and that difference is worth hearing.

If they forgot their cue, help them choose a clearer trigger for next time. Avoid taking over the wording. “When would you like to remember it?” keeps the conversation with the athlete rather than turning the routine into an adult’s checklist.

Keep support available beyond performance

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends ongoing, nonjudgmental conversations about mental health. Keep that invitation open even when the conversation has little to do with the sport routine you hoped to discuss. A child should be able to raise a worry without being handed another lesson to complete.

If you are concerned about their well-being, seek guidance from a qualified health professional. For everyday sport practice, you can explore an idea together, then allow the athlete to decide how they want help using it. Your steady interest can stay the same whether they start, sit on the bench or have a day they would rather forget.

AAP guidance on supporting teen athletes’ mental health ↗