Make room for both parts of what they are saying
“I can’t keep doing this” and “I don’t want to quit” can arrive in the same conversation. A child may want to keep their teammates, their progress and the part of the game they still enjoy. They may also dread the next practice. You can take both statements seriously without asking them to prove which one is real.
Try asking, “What would you most want to keep, and what most needs to change?” Let the answer be unfinished. A young person may need several conversations to describe what has become difficult. Avoid opening with the money already spent or the opportunity they might lose.
Who can my daughter or son talk to?
For health concerns, a pediatrician can be a first contact and help the family find appropriate care. A qualified mental-health professional can provide assessment and support. A school counselor or trusted school adult can help the athlete find a route to services; ask what that person’s role includes.
A sport coach may help with a practical change such as workload or team expectations, if the athlete feels safe raising the concern with them. If that adult is part of the problem, find another appropriate contact. Ask your child who feels easiest to approach and offer to help arrange the conversation.
Look for changes that can actually happen
AAP guidance on youth burnout emphasizes enjoyment, recovery and attention to an athlete’s health. It also calls on adults to act when there are concerns about mistreatment. The answer to exhaustion or an unsafe environment is not simply another exercise in persistence.
With your athlete and the relevant adults, explore a smaller schedule, a break, a different team or a less demanding level. These are possibilities to investigate, not a prescription for every family. Find out what is available and who needs to agree. Health concerns should inform the plan with professional guidance.
Make an adjustment specific enough to revisit: what will change, who will communicate it and when will you talk again? “We will make it easier” leaves everyone guessing. A clear agreement lets the athlete know their experience has led to an action.
AAP guidance on burnout and healthy youth sport participation
If they say the sport is hurting their mental health
Take that statement seriously even if the athlete is still performing well. Ask what they are experiencing and help them connect with care. You do not need to decide whether “burnout” is the correct label before asking for help.
NIMH advises seeking help when a child’s distress lasts or interferes with life at home, school or with friends. Thoughts of harming themselves or someone else, or unsafe behavior, call for immediate help. In the United States, call or text 988 for crisis support; call 911 for a life-threatening emergency. Elsewhere, use your local crisis or emergency service.
Keep the athlete involved without making them carry it alone
A teen can help explain their preferences while adults handle appointments, schedule conversations and practical arrangements. Let them know what you plan to share and with whom. Do not promise to keep a safety concern secret.
If they decide to pause or leave, help them preserve valued friendships and other parts of their life. If they continue with changes, stay open to revisiting the decision. A successful conversation is one in which the athlete is heard and supported, whatever happens to the next season.
Turn a supportive conversation into a practical next step
After listening, write down only the actions the family has agreed to take: who will arrange an appropriate support conversation, which schedule issue needs discussion and when you will check in again. Let the athlete know what will be shared and with whom. The note should organize adult follow-through, not become a symptom score or a test the child must pass to receive help.
Ask what feels most difficult about the next step. They may worry about losing teammates, disappointing a coach or having private details discussed. You may not be able to promise every outcome, but you can explain what you will do and keep them involved. If a health or safety concern is present, act through the appropriate professional or safeguarding route rather than waiting for the next sporting result.
What should parents do when a child wants to quit sport?
When should a coach refer an athlete for mental performance or mental health support?
Mental skills practice has a limited role here
reset teaches mental skills for sport. It does not diagnose burnout, provide therapy or replace a conversation with a qualified professional. An athlete should never need to complete an app lesson before receiving help.
For this question, the most useful next step may be arranging a conversation and changing something in the athlete’s week. Start with the person who is asking for support.
Understand the roles of mental training and mental-health care
Sources and further reading
- AAP: Burnout in Young Athletes
Guidance on enjoyment, recovery, health and responding to mistreatment in youth sport.
- AAP: Mental Health in Teen Athletes
Supports listening to athletes and connecting families with appropriate health support.
- NIMH: Children and Mental Health
Guidance on seeking professional and urgent help. This article does not diagnose a reader’s child.