How to help your child prepare for tryouts: a parent’s plan

Your job in tryout week, and what isn’t your job

The honest part first. You can’t add skill this week, and neither can your child. Most of what a coach sees at tryouts was built over months. What you can do is make sure your child shows up rested, fed, on time, with the right gear, and without carrying your nerves on top of their own. That’s a bigger edge than most parents think.

Hockey Canada puts the parent’s role plainly: be positive and supportive, enforce good sleep and rest, provide good nutrition, and help keep stress down. USA Hockey’s tryout advice, written with the Positive Coaching Alliance, adds one more: keep your own emotions in check, because an upset parent adds pressure. Your child’s side of the plan lives in our athlete guide, how to prepare for tryouts. Read it together so you’re working from the same plan.

The week before: a parent’s day-by-day plan

USA Hockey suggests sitting down before tryouts to talk through your child’s goals, telling them you’re proud of them whatever happens, and naming other options if they don’t make it, so tryouts don’t feel do-or-die. This plan builds that in. Count back from tryout day.

If your child is already anxious, share how to calm tryout nerves with them. If you want to know what evaluators actually score, read what coaches look for at tryouts. Sport-specific plans for soccer, volleyball, basketball, baseball, softball and football cover what’s often tested.

The night before: a checklist you can print

The goal tonight is boring on purpose. Nothing new, nothing rushed, nothing big to talk about. Children’s Health notes that short sleep can mean slower sprints, less endurance, less focus and a worse mood, so protect bedtime like it’s part of the tryout.

1. 01

   Pack the bag with them, not for them

   Forms, broken-in shoes or cleats, extra socks, protective gear, two full water bottles, a simple snack, hair ties and tape. Let your child check each item off so it’s their bag and their routine.

2. 02

   Serve a familiar dinner

   Pasta, rice, chicken, whatever they eat on a normal practice night. Tonight is not the night for a new restaurant or a heavy, greasy meal.

3. 03

   Set two alarms and the breakfast plan

   Children’s Health suggests a well-balanced meal two to three hours before a tryout. Decide now what and when, so the morning has no questions.

4. 04

   Screens down early

   Phones out of the bedroom. Scrolling team group chats at 11 p.m. is how a kid finds out who else is trying out and starts doing math.

5. 05

   Say one thing, then stop

   “You’ve done the work. All you have to do tomorrow is compete and have fun. I love watching you play.” Then talk about anything else.

The car ride there: what to say, word for word

This ride is not the time for last-minute tips. Your child is already running the day in their head. Your voice should be the calmest thing in the car. Let them pick the music. If they want quiet, give them quiet.

That middle line matters. USA Hockey’s advice reminds parents that coaches look for players who handle mistakes well as much as they evaluate skill. Every kid will miss a ball. The reset after a mistake is the part your child can rehearse.

While they’re on the field or court

Some tryouts are closed to parents. If you can watch, how you watch matters. Hockey Canada asks parents to trust coaches and evaluators during this process and to keep players away from any negativity. Your child can see you from the floor.

The car ride home and the wait for the list

Kinesiologist Amanda Stanec, PhD, writing for TrueSport, suggests skipping “How did it go?” on the drive home and asking a simpler question: “Did you have fun?” If your child wants to talk more, let them drive the conversation. If they’re upset about a mistake, empathize and remind them everyone makes mistakes.

The wait for the roster is often harder than the tryout. Keep the house normal: school, meals, friends, sleep. Don’t refresh the team website together every hour. If there’s a second day or a callback, run the night-before checklist again.

What not to say, and what to say instead

Most of these come from love. They still land as pressure. TrueSport’s guidance names three to avoid: statements that add pressure, talk about other players, and complaints about the coach.

For more scripts for the drive home after games, read what to say after a bad game and how to be a good sports parent.

If they make it, and if they don’t

If your child made the team, celebrate the effort, not the spot. Then encourage them to ask the coach one question: “What should I work on before the first practice?”

If they didn’t, it can sting for days, and that’s normal. USA Hockey’s advice: tell them it’s OK to be disappointed, empathize, and don’t try to make them feel better by saying the tryout wasn’t important. Sharing a time you didn’t get something you wanted can help. So can a “you’re the kind of person” line: “You’re the kind of person who doesn’t let a setback stop you from playing the game you love.” When they’re ready, help them ask the coach for two things to work on. Our guides didn’t make the team: what to do next and what to say when your child does not make the team walk through the first week.

Most tryout nerves fade once the first drill starts. If worry about sport is constant, hurts sleep or school, or doesn’t ease after tryouts end, talk to your child’s doctor or a licensed mental health professional. In a crisis in the US, call or text 988.

Every kid at tryouts will make a mistake. The ones who stand out have practiced what happens next. reset is the mental training app for athletes: two minutes a day, three steps. Notice. Name. Return. Try a 2-minute reset, or join the waitlist.